My story's different than most girls suffering from eating disorders. I never got to a point where my life was exactly on the line, I was never hospitalized.

This to me, is the saddest part.

There are so many girls (and guys for that matter) suffering from this same thing... that absolutely no one knows about. No one can just tell by looking at them what they are going through.

You've got to know what I'm about to say:

You will never get out of these miserable, impossible situations without God, because they are just that - impossible.

By crying over image... and starving myself... and harming my body (God's temple)... and lying about what I had eaten... and caring enough to fathom any of these... I was in direct defiance to God's intentions for me. I am ready to give all of this up, and I'm in the process.

My story won't end until I'm not here to share it.

But I believe that this chapter... the closing chapter in this series... is just the beginning in an even greater series.

Somehow, in some way, this dark, desolate time of my meaningful life will make a difference in someone else's. As long as there is a God, there is hope.

I don't quite know how to end this. I don't want to convey the message that by accepting that God cares for you and will help you, that your life will become easy and problem free. I still have days that leave me feeling beyond hopeless.

But I accept that on those hard days... God is holding my hand. He's helping me up when I fall. He's drying my tears when they pour endlessly. His angels are singing me to sleep when I'm restless. He's giving me the strength I need to move on.

I will not only recover from this... I will emerge a stronger person than I ever could have been without it. I refuse to do anything but move forward.

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Author guidance for This story

So why is this story of mine called the Stickers in my Purse? You may be disappointed by the literal meaning of it. Every week my doctor focuses on a different aspect of recovery with me, and she leaves me with a piece of encouragement, which I write on the sticker she gives me as I leave. Such things as "You are beautiful," and "You are loved," are kept in a tiny pocket of my purse. Therefore, I see them constantly. They make me smile, never failing.
They remind me that God has a plan for me, and that His plan is greater than the obstacle.

updated Feb 28 by BeauteInterieure